Change

​On Friday, my baby walked down the familiar steps of his beloved Ms. T, yelling behind him, “bye bye Ms. T!”
 
A split second of time that brought my heart to my throat.
 
He and his sister have been under the weekly care of Ms. T since each was four-months old. Now almost three and his sister over four, it seems like a lifetime of making that walk across our two yards.
 
I guess it is a lifetime…their lifetimes.
 
I first made that walk four years ago, with my little baby girl cradled in my arms. Sixteen months later that walk often meant carrying a bag of diapers and pumped milk, with my little girl in one arm and tiny infant boy in the other. Over the past four years, Ms. T has seen my children during the weekdays more than their father and I have. She has loved them, nurtured them, taught them, potty-trained them, disciplined them, fed them, hugged them, kissed their boo boos, and simply adored them from 7am to 5pm almost every single day.
 
And let’s not forget the fact that she most definitely saved my daughter’s life.  
 
There is a lot of change happening for my little family right now. And change, although sometimes necessary, can be hard.
 
For the first time since either him or his sister existed, I am taking the summer off. And while I doubt either will complain about Mama being home for a few months, they will both be starting a Pre-K daycare program at a local church in the fall. My daughter will be in kindergarten the following year, so this is a necessary move for her. Being as life right now is all about trying to make things as easy as possible in a world of difficult, we decided it was best to move her little brother as well.
 
My sweet boy did not understand that Friday was the last time that his normal would be "the normal". I had to fight back tears listening to his squeaky voice yell goodbye to one of the few people outside of his father and I who he trusts without reserve.
 
I wasn’t sad because we will miss our Ms. T. Of course we will miss her; but she’s also our next door neighbor and we have seen her no less than five times since that moment on Friday.

As my 25 pound, messy blonde-haired boy tripped down those stairs, I had a vision of the future. For a split second, I could see that little boy grown and walking across of the stage of a high school graduation. I could see myself in the stands, tears likely streaming down my face. For a split second, I had a glimpse of the future and the moment that I would think of the past; a flashback to now. A flashback to when I watched my baby walk down the stairs of his Ms. T, blissfully unaware of how life constantly throws you changes and how he was about to face the first big one of his little life.
 
To all my friends who are experiencing those flashbacks in real time during this season of change- I see you. I see you and your pride and your love. I see your heartache. I see you look at the amazing adults your sons and daughters have become, while still seeing that baby you once carried in your arms.
 
I see you; because in a few years that will pass by like minutes, I will be in your spot and I know you will see me too.

Our Ms. T with my girl and her best bud, who has also been lucky enough to be under Ms. T's care.
I mean, come on guys- who else lets two silly little girls paint their face like this?!
​Shared with permission from best bud's Mama, of course=)