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3/25/2018 1 Comment

Life in Pictures

I love a great photo. Beautiful children in matching clothes. A perfectly poised living room. Delicious, healthy, colorful meals cooked for the family. Being an artist, I appreciate a well taken photo. I also love taking them- when the light hits something just right and the kids are being cooperative. 

The problem with social media is that it can often misrepresent real life. We post a picture of one quick moment and it hangs out there forever. It's so easy to look at someone else's moment and misunderstand what real life looks for them. It's easy to assume that this parenting thing is so much easier for someone else when reality is that the one moment of perfection captured in a picture was literally the ONLY moment of perfection the entire day... week... or even month.

So let me give you a little taste of my real life...
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Dinner. Never peaceful. Usually at least one child is crying, usually we don't really know why. It's loud and messy, much like a school cafeteria. There is usually fighting. In this moment only two of three kids was crying, so that was a win. 
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My house. I'm a clean-freak, perhaps even a bit OCD about it (at least if you ask my husband). This does not go well with having children who enjoy dumping all of the toy bins onto the floor more than they actually like playing with the toys. 
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I wish I could say "Mommy is going to run on the treadmill" and it would be that simple. Alas, it is not. It is instead a side stitch 5 minutes in from answering 437 questions about how long I have left, mid-stride lunges to push little bodies away from the belt, and little eyes staring at me the ENTIRE TIME.
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Now, I really do love braiding my girl's hair and the feeling must be mutual because Ms. Wiggly Worm has always been cooperative about it. This combination of patience can make for some really cute styles... but please know that any pictures that have been posted of her super cute hairdos were snapped mere seconds after completion. Girlfriend plays HARD and even the tightest of braids don't stand a chance against this little tornado.

And apparently, this is a genetic condition.
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Potty training. You'd think it would be easier the third time around. I bought my baby some pretty awesome Paw Patrol undies, hoping he'd be motivated to wear them. Instead, he's just been piling them onto this play trolley and wheeling them around the house. Oh, and one time he put a pair on his head... so there's that. 

If I had the time to snap a picture during all moments of our day, 99 percent of them would look like these. Just like what I suspect is true for most of us that post on social media, my life is just as much a mess as the next; and if you need any further proof just head on over my bio page and take a look at our most recent family photo attempt.

​It. Is. Awesome.
1 Comment
monica zakwieia
3/25/2018 05:58:30 pm

Love, love, love your posts and comments. Everything you are going through is true to what my niece is going through with her soon to be 3 year old; especially potty training.

Never having had any children of my own, I always remember the "mothering" my mother gave to me and my two younger sisters. My mother was always there for me in a maternal and nurturing way. It wasn't important to have a clean house, beds made, toys neat in a row, a perfect well balanced meal, etc. It was important that she was there for us in the morning feeding us what we wanted (ice cream, left over pizza, even candy) watching a half hour of cartoons before the day started; playing with her on the floor; coloring contests. Helping her clean with our little cleaning tools; baking a cake for our dinner dessert. Learning to appropriately set the dinner table for our family dinner. Being excited for our dad when he got home. Having a family dinner; the 5 of us, no electronics and going around the table one-by-one sharing the most memorable thoughts of our day. Then watching a family television show, having a light snack and being put to bed by mom! Dad would come up in a few minutes and the 5 of us would say our prayers thanking God for the wonderful day and ask him to please grant us another family day tomorrow.

I'm not saying this was the perfect life. However; listening to young parents of today, I never hear the term "mothering" or " fathering"; only "parenting." I know, as the younger generation, you have evolved into a mother and a father parenting vs. mothering and fathering. I am aware in this day and age it is impossible for most families to have a parent stay home. However; think for a moment. For the first 4-5 years of a child's life, is it really that necessary to run on that treadmill before you run out that door before you spend 10 minutes of quality time with your kids before they go to school.
What is a clean house for maybe a half hour proving? Who cares; only you mom. Talk about the day ahead of you, have breakfast together, what should we do this evening. I think all of you know how that nagging husband/wife sets you off in the morning. Guess What? Your child feels the same way.

Having watched my almost 3 year old great nephew for 3 years; not potty trained, I see the stress on the child and the parent trying her best in "parenting." Parenting; the act of raising, the process of taking care of. Not "mothering" or "fathering;" nurturing, development, support and encourage. They are only little for a very short amount of time. By the time they are 3 - 3 1/2 they are sent to preschool. Value the short amount of time you have with them before they are set free; give them "mothering!"

P.S. Leah, I know you are a great mom. Please let up on yourself. You are trying to be perfect. As you know, there is no such thing. My niece never lets up on her son and I really think, at almost 3, he is ignoring her just like a husband would. I try to tell her but she won't listen. As much as I hate to say it, "you need to listen to Kenny. Clean houses mean nothing! Life is too short! Think about your friend's houses. Believe me, No One Cares! Lived in houses are fun houses!

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